PaperKingdoms

August 17, 2006

How to get close to a rock band (And possibly get in for free!)

Filed under: musings — bardicknowledge @ 1:40 pm

Here’s an idea for the ladies that want to get close to a band and don’t mind flaunting themselves and using their looks.

So here’s the plan. Every band has a sound engineer, the majority of them being male. Now, normally the sound engineer is overlooked and they like to show of their skills. So if you can get in close to the engineer (a good way would be to tease them with sex) chances are they will right to get you on the guess list, take you with them after the shows etc etc. The longer you can play them, the better for you. Eventually the time will come to put out or get out and it up to you then what ya want to do. Try it! It works best if

1) the engineer is single
2)the engineer is drunk
and 3) the band they work for is a rock band since you know rockers like to live the lifestyle!

On a side note I would like to make an observation. When a musician plays it’s almost like they are making love to their instrument. Well here are the different forms of lovin’

Rock: Wild sex – all over the place
Metal: Rape – vicious and unforgiving
Rap: Prostitution – will repeat a few acts over and over again but nothing good
Classical: Married sex – slow, forced, tiring.
Country: The strange uncle with the nephew – gross
Opera: Oral – A pleasant change from time to time
Pop: Teenage – Lasts 3 minutes and sucks.

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